


Lucky Wednesday

by Pleasedial123



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki Peanut Gallery, All the Akatsuki Crew, Artist Itachi, BAMF Sakura, Doctor Sakura, Drama, F/M, Lovesick Kisame, Tattoo Artist Kisame, damn dude just ask her out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:47:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pleasedial123/pseuds/Pleasedial123
Summary: Haruno Sakura is a hard-working, loyal, ripped Doctor with legs for days who lives a busy life as a surgeon. She's the best thing Tattoo Artist Kisame has ever seen. Now if only he could work up the courage to ask her out. And if the Akatsuki peanut gallery would stop harassing him over it. But then Itachi enters the scene and throws all of Kisame's hopes into disarray.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hoshigaki Kisame
Comments: 53
Kudos: 770





	Lucky Wednesday

Kisame looked up as the bell above the door chimed and found a new customer glancing about the shop curiously.

"Welcome to Akatsuki Tattoos," he called, "be with you in a moment."

It was late and he was the last one in, cleaning up his station. He finished up cleaning the ink from his last session and stood.

The woman at the front was a pretty little thing in a plain green v-neck long sleeve shirt and skinny jeans. Kisame noted the clothes first like usual for the reason he couldn't see any tattoos peeking out. He tried not to but he usually judged how a customer was going to be by how visible and prominent their tattoos. This woman didn't have any visible but she was quite covered up. To be honest he really hoped she wasn't a first timer. They were always... difficult.

"How can I help you today miss," he said politely despite his thoughts.

It was never a good idea to make assumptions and politeness was a good shield in customer service. 

"I'm looking to get a tattoo," she smiled at him, "and heard you guys are some of the best in town."

"True," Kisame grinned back unashamedly, "This your first time getting inked?"

"Oh no, not at all," the woman said, "It's just my regular artist decided to just stop doing tattoos and pick up a new medium."

"Who was your artist?" Kisame asked trying to remember if any around town had quit.

"A good friend, Fujiwara Sai. He’s not super well known and did a lot of exclusive work for friends only."

That name wasn’t ringing any bells and Kisame knew most of the artists in town. She must have read his face.

"Wasn’t running out of a shop," she shrugged, "Worked out of his house."

Kisame nodded but also tried to hide a wince. Independent was all good but if he didn't know him it probably meant some wannabe kid in a basement. Kisame was almost afraid to ask to see her tattoo.

"Well what were you thinking for your tattoo?" Kisame asked.

The woman pulled her phone out asked leaned forward. This much closer Kisame got a good look at her eyelashes and brows. 'Huh' he thought idly 'her hair is naturally pink.' He pushed the thought aside and looked at her phone. She had pulled up three flowers.

"I'd like these three together on my forearm," she said, "about the size of my hand all together."

Kisame looked down at the photographs of a set flowers cut and pasted to be next to each other. A sakura blossom, a sunflower, and a red hibiscus. Odd combination that. 

"Do you want them realistic or..."

"To be honest I leave that up to you."

Kisame tried to hide a wince. That was a compliment if it came from a regular and someone who knew the business. But if they were newbies that often meant lots or hemming and hawing or arguing later. Kisame hated people who said they wanted him to design things and then got upset they weren’t what they wanted.

"Okay. Not a large tattoo then. Color?"

"Please."

"I'm going to give you an estimate of three hours with color. Could be a bit longer or shorter of course."

"Sounds good. Can we book it now?"

"Yup. I am going to need a deposit though and you have to decide which artist you want. We have some portfolios just behind you."

"Oh, I thought you would..." she said glancing at said portfolios laid out in the tiny waiting area.

"I can," he smiled, "but someone else may have a style you like better."

She gave a slow nod and he pointed get to the portfolios while he pulled the calendar up on the computer. She took a few minutes flipping through the various pictures and Kisame watched her out of the corner of his eyes.

She was quite...pretty he noted. She wasn't a great stunning beauty with that forehead or her lack of curves and height, but she was definitely pretty with candy pink hair and large green eyes. Under her well fitted shirt Kisame could see some muscle and he wondered faintly if she did manual labor or she was a gym rat. 

"I'm going to stick with you I think," she finally announced, "You do some beautiful water tattoos by the way."

She was looking at a picture of a full back piece he had done of Poseidon riding on waves.

"Thanks," he grinned.

She retuned to the counter and he turned the monitor so she could see the calendar.

"I am booked up for the next month," he said apologetically, "but I have some openings after that."

"That actually works well. Do you have a Wednesday free? That's usually my day off."

“If you don't mind scheduling for May," he nodded.

"Perfect. Put me down. I'm Haruno Sakura by the way. Do you need my number?”

He penciled her in while she got her wallet out for the deposit. He filled in a neat little business card with her appointment time.

"See you then!" Kisame called as she left.

She was pretty walking away he thought idly before trying to shake such thoughts away. Ogle later if she proved to be a good customer. Personality would always trump a nice ass. Even if it was really, really nice ass. 

.--.

“Are you okay getting ink on your shirt?” Kisame asked as she rolled her sleeve up, shoving it up over her elbow.

“Yup,” she said, “I know ink can get messy as you wipe.

He nodded and tugged his gloves on as he pulled out his papers.

“What do you think?” he asked, holding out his sketch.

She looked at it closely for a long moment.

“I like it,” she declared to his relief. 

“Let’s get it placed then.”

He cleaned her arm carefully and then patted it down to her instruction and gently rubbed the ink on. When he peeled back the paper he was happy with the layout but pulled back to let her see.

“Do you like the placement? We can move it easily.”

She eyed it again, twisting to hold it out to the mirror.

“It’s good there,” she finally smiled. 

“Awesome,” he said, internally relieved that she was easy so far.

The real test would be her pain tolerance, her stillness, and her satisfaction at the end of course, but it was starting nicely to have such an easy new customer. Kisame asked her some inane question as he laid his workstation out, pouring ink into caps and getting the needle for the gun installed. How’s your day, how’s your week, what’s the weather like, that sort of thing. 

“Let’s get this show on the road,” he finally declared as he arranged her arm on the bed, “Ready?”

“Yup,” she said.

The first touch of the needle made her skin jump automatically but he rode it out and started on the first sweeping line of the cherry blossom cluster.

“I don’t usually pry, but why the flowers?” Kisame asked, “They’re not usually a combination I get. If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Not at all,” she smiled, “The cherry blossom is for me, the sunflower for my friend Naruto, and the hibiscus for my friend Sasuke. We’ve been best friends for over two decades, since elementary school. Couldn’t separate us for love or money. My friend Naruto got a cherry blossom and hibiscus over his heart which started this whole thing. Sasuke tries to act cool but he’s a sap at heart and got a bough of Sakura across his ribs and a sunflower up his spine so I thought, why not?”

“I’d usually not suggest getting BFF tattoos,” Kisame said, “But at least you aren’t getting their names tattooed across your ass.”

“Please tell me that’s not something people really do,” she said, “I’d heard stories, but really?”

“Often,” Kisame chuckled. 

She groaned and he chuckled again as he started a line of a petal.

“I suppose I will see some one day,” she sighed.

“Oh?” he asked.

“Work,” she explained, “I work at the hospital and we see lots of people and lots of their parts.”

“Nice. Nurse?"

"Doctor," she said blandly, “Surgeon to be precise.”

Kisame winced and lifted the needle from her skin to look her in the eyes. She had the look of someone very used to correcting people on that assumption.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be insulting," he said, “I assumed because of your age. You think I wouldn’t be an assumption making guy since I work in a tattoo parlour but…”

"But when people get names tattoos on their ass you start making assumptions?” she grinned, “And don’t worry about it. Most people assume. I’ve been lucky to keep my youth as I age I suppose, but it does get me ID’d when I order beer still, and you know, the whole people don’t think I’m old enough to have done the schooling to be a doctor.”

“So…surgeon?” he asked, pressing the needle back down.

“Specializing in trauma surgery,” she said, “I’m under Doctor Kato Tsunade.”

He gave an impressed whistle. Even he knew who the famous surgeon Kato Tsunade was. He didn’t know much about this lady but that alone told him she was smart, ambitious, and hard-working. He liked a woman like that. He asked a question about her schooling and she was off, more than willing to chat as he let the needle glide over her skin.

Three hours passed very quickly and he was almost sad when he finally turned his gun off. He’d learned Sakura was an only child, enjoyed her work even if it was taxing, enjoyed the same sushi as him, and really liked similar beers to him. He’d also managed to pull a few stories of her high school and uni mischief out of her and in return had shared how he’d originally went to school to be a marine biologist and had spent so much time sketching sea life he’d switched to art school and taken a two year course before turning to tattooing.

Sakura was a rather polite woman, but beneath the kind smile was a core of steel and a heart with room for mischief and Kisame was disappointed their time had come to and end. He gave the standard warning and talk about after-care, wiping her new tattoo before putting a pad on and wrapping it with medical tape. 

“You said it’s not your first tattoo, so you should know the deal,” he reminded her at the end, “Come see me if you have any problems at all.”

They’d managed to get through the three hours without him asking where her other tattoo was and now that their time was up he was curious. Oh well.

“Thank you,” she told him, “I already love it. I might have to come to you for all my tattoo needs now that my friend gave up his ink.”

“I’m happy to do any tattoos for you,” he grinned, “Just no face or neck tattoos.”

“Personal policy?” she smiled.

“Don’t want that sort of customer,” he smiled watching as she carefully rolled her sleeve over the covered tattoo.

“Well thank you,” she smiled, “I’ll see you around Mr. Hoshigaki.”

“Please, call me Kisame.”

“Then feel free to call me Sakura,” she said with a stunning smile.

Kisame waved her off with a smile and groaned when she was fully gone.

“Damn,” he said, “I should have asked for her number.”

“Should have,” Zetsu told him mercilessly from where he’d been eavesdropping at his own station, “If I’d had her under my needle I would have eaten her up.”

“Fuck off,” Kisame sighed.

“He’s got a point, sharky,” Deidara said, wheeling out of the back room just to shoot Kisame a wink, “Babe like that is worth eating up if you know what I mean.”

He waggled his brow and Kisame threw his pen at him. His coworkers were assholes.

.--.

“Hello Kisame,”

“Sakura!” Kisame yelped, “Ah, sorry you startled me.”

‘She came back’ he crowed internally as he straightened up, pulling away from the monitor to fully face her. No idea how she’d slipping in the door so silently since it had a bell on it, but then again he’d been pretty absorbed in looking up some references to finish a commission…

“How have you been?” he asked, grinning.

“Good, good,” she smiled, “And the tattoo is brilliant as well.”

She rolled up her sleeve to show it off and Kisame eyed it with a self-deprecating eye. Even with sharp consideration he found he was quite happy with the thing. An odd combination as he had said, but he’d managed to pull it off with bright colors and a burst of leaves.

“Do you need a touch up” he asked, eyeing the lines but finding no fault.

“No,” she smiled, “I was wondering if I could book another tattoo with you?”

“Of course!” he said, “More flowers?”

“Bit of a different idea,” she said pulling her phone out.

She hummed as she flipped through something and Kisame caught a glimpse of Kakuzu and Konan peering around the stations to peek at Sakura. Deidara was in his own chair, tattooing someone and shooting gossip at all of them.

“Here,” Sakura said, reclaiming his attention.

He looked at her phone and the heart staring back at him.

“A real heart,” he mused, “Never had that request before.

“I’d like it just under my collarbone on the left side of my chest,” she said, “a commemoration for reaching my goal of being a surgeon.”

“How big?”

They talked a moment about dimensions as Kisame thought of a way to sketch the design out.

“I like the wave tattoos you’ve done, all your water ones,” she explained, drawing his eye as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, so some splashes of color like blood would be awesome.”

He pulled his eyes away from her mouth and nodded.

“Let me draw something up,” he said, “We can have a consultation for it before we do the sitting session. I’d like to be sure on something like this.”

“Sounds good to me,” she smiled, “Are Wednesdays still okay?”

“Let me pull the calendar up,” he said.

Nagato came to lean against the partition at the front, watching as Kisame pulled up the calendar. The orange haired man sipped his coffee as he blatantly looked at Sakura and Kisame. While Sakura looked at her own calendar Kisame shot his boss a sharp mutinous glare. Nagato gave him a flat look, but his lips were twitching as he walked away.

“That should work,” Sakura agreed as they nailed a date for consultation and tattooing down, “Thank you Kisame, I’ll see you in a couple weeks!”

“Cheers,” Kisame waved her off.

“Ask her out.”

“Fuck!” Kisame yelled, “Goddamn Konan! Didn’t we put a bell on you?”

“Ask her out,” Konan said blandly, “She’s interested in you.”

“There is no way you can tell that in that small amount of time. And don’t say woman’s intuition,” he grumbled.

“Believe me or don’t,” she said, “But I wouldn’t let a woman like that walk out the door without my number if I was single.”

“It’s called professionalism,” Kisame rolled his eyes, “She’s my client.”

“Still,” Konan shrugged, “As long as you stay professional if she turns you down.”

“Oh fuck off,” he grumbled.

Konan gave him a pointed look but sashayed off to her desk to finish her sketch for her afternoon client. Kisame grumbled a few minutes more and tried not to be obvious as he marked down Sakura’s appointments in his own phone. 

.--.

The consultation went well. Really well. Kisame had perhaps obsessed over the anatomical heart tattoo and had more than one sketch prepared when Sakura sat down at his station and he laid the papers out. 

They ended up chit chatting for almost forty minutes, not just about the tattoo, but about a variety of other things. Sakura swung her legs as she talked and Kisame kept dragging his eyes away from her long legs. 

This time Hidan was in the place in his usual spot and simply stared at Kisame with a wide grin from behind Sakura. He took a few chances to shoot the man a sharp glare but Hidan was a little shit and simply watched openly, grinning like a loon. Konan and Kakuzu had clients who obviously had gotten the gossip, cause even the clients were giving Kisame pointed looks as Sakura sat and talked to him. It was a sad moment when he had to say goodbye to the woman because his next appointment had walked in the doors.

“I’ll see you in two weeks,” Sakura said, “And thank you again, they’re all lovely.”

“Ah, no problem. It was fun,” Kisame grinned rubbing the back of his head, “Good luck at work today.”

“I don’t need luck,” she winked, “I’m all skill.”

He watched her walk away again and sighed lightly as she disappeared down the street.

“Well, you’re gone,” Zabuza sneered at him having seen this all go down when he walked in, “Have you tapped that already?”

“Oh fuck off Zabuza,” Kisame said, getting far too used to telling people off.

“He’s just sighing like a bitch in heat,” Hidan contributed.

Kisame grumbled at all of them and was a tad rougher with Zabuza as he pressed the man down in the bed to continue his back piece. Zabuza tried to kick his knee out in retaliation and Nagato had to glare at them to get the peace back in line.

Kisame pressed the needle to Zabuza’s back and wished it was Sakura’s smooth skin under his hand.

.--.

Kisame couldn’t stop from smiling as Sakura told him a story about her and her two friends getting in trouble in school.

“So Naruto starts laughing, which gave the whole gig up,” Sakura said, “And Sasuke tried to look at Naruto disapprovingly so they wouldn’t be associated together, but he was smiling behind his sneer and it was pretty obvious. I would have got off scot free when I started acting offended on the substitute’s behalf and scolding Naruto, but the idiot asked if I liked the color I’d picked. I smacked him hard for that since it got us all detention.”

“Snitches get stitches,” Kisame laughed.

“Exactly,” Sakura said fondly.

Kisame snickered at the whole image even as he pressed the sketch to her chest. 

“How does that look?” he asked as he looked at the pen on her skin.

Sakura hummed as she turned and twisted in the mirror.

“Perfect,” Sakura smiled.

“We’d better get started then,” he said, “We’ve already wasted half an hour talking.”

“Has it been half an hour already?’ she asked surprised, “I didn’t even realize. Sorry. I’ve always been a chit chatter.”

“Oh no,” he waved a hand, “I enjoy the conversation. I really hate when I get those customers that like silence; it always feels awkward.”

She smiled at him, a small brilliant smile and Kisame spun to face his inks as he tried not to flush under the look. Zetsu gave Kisame a look that said ‘you’re an idiot’ from where he was tattooing his friend Obito. Obito gave Kisame the exact same look which was more devastating coming from someone who had no right to call anyone else an idiot. Beyond them Deidara made a crude hand gesture.

"Hey Itachi," Kisame said as the Uchiha slipped in the back door, desperate for a distraction so he didn’t feel the urge to get up and murder his other coworkers and their clients.

"Itachi?" Sakura said surprisingly, sounding startled as she looked around

"Sakura?" Itachi said sounding uncharacteristically bewildered as he stopped in his tracks.

Kisame blinked at both of them.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Itachi recovered, offering a smile.

"I didn't realize you had become a tattoo artist," she said also smiling as she turned to face him

"Part time," Itachi smiled.

"Are you still painting then? I loved your crow series. Sasuke was sending me pictures of every new painting you made and they were all beautiful."

"Thank you, and yes I am still painting," he dipped a nod, "I actually have a show in a few weeks if you are interested?"

"Oh definitely! Where and when?" Sakura asked sounding very pleased.

"Fifth street in a private gallery, on Wednesday 18th. If you would like to come for the opening, it will be a nice private night with friends and drinks."

"Oh I don't want to impose!"

"I would love to have you there," he smiled, eyes crinkling genuinely

"Well," Sakura hedged.

"Please" Itachi said.

"Oh alright," she laughed, "I'd would be more than happy to come!"

"I will message you the details,” he smiled, “I’ll let you know when I can pick you up."

"Oh you don't have to give me a ride," she laughed, “I’ve got a vehicle now, unlike when we made you pick us all up as teens.”

"It would be no inconvenience,” Itachi insisted, “I don’t drink but if you would like to have a few, I’d feel much better driving you.”

“Well, if it really isn’t out of your way,” she smiled, “It all sounds lovely. I’m so glad to see you again.”

“I’m glad to see you as well Sakura. If you’ll excuse me I have to prepare for a client.”

She laughed and gave him a smile even as Kisame stared between them in disbelief. Past the two oblivious centers of attention Zetsu and Obito were giving Kisame pitying looks while Deidara stared at him with the same outraged disbelief that Kisame felt. Kisame didn’t even know what he would say but he was saved, in a way, when Sakura’s phone went off.

She answered and in a flurry of words she was apologizing to Kisame very sincerely and promising to pay for the hour but she was desperately needed at the hospital and had to go.

Kisame was left sitting at his station, still holding his gun, inks laid out, and watching Sakura hurry away as Itachi started humming cheerfully, oblivious in his corner.

Kakuzu entered from the back alley with Konan, both carrying coffee and both quick to pick up on the atmosphere as they looked around.

“What happened?” Kakuzu asked looking disinterested as he sipped his drink.

“Damn dude,” Deidara said as Kisame sat there stunned, “We just witnessed a straight up murder.”

.--. 

“So you know Itachi huh? Small world,” Kisame commented as he pressed needle to skin. 

He wasn’t digging. He wasn’t. They’d had some nice conversation and he’d seen a perfect spot to slide the question in. 

“My friends Sasuke,” Sakura said, “is his little brother. So when we were in high school poor Itachi was in University taking Art and we were in and out of the Uchiha home all the time. I should probably apologize for the amount of noise and chaos we always seemed to drag around with us. I know for a fact we distributed his studying pretty often. And whenever we needed a ride, Sasuke would call and put on this begging voice. If you know Itachi you’ll know he’s a huge nerd but he’s also super concerned for Sasuke all the time, so the pleas worked every time. I got very used to the inside of his little sedan.”

She laughed and Kisame chuckled even though he didn’t want to. Her laughter was infectious and warm and he was happy to simply have her on his bed, needle in her skin. Besides, he did indeed know how absolutely stupid worrying Itachi got about his brother. They’d met in university and Itachi had only ever stepped away from his intense focus on school when his brother was mentioned. 

“So you knew Itachi’s family then too?” Kisame said.

“Yeah, his parents are lovely, have you met them?”

He had indeed met the two when they had done a few study sessions in the Uchiha home. He hovered over the idea that he and Sakura had been inside the same home at some point, maybe even at the same time.... He shook the thought away and focused on the skin under his hand as he went back to the Uchiha parents. While he could easily say Mikoto was lovely, as calm and kind as Itachi, he didn’t think he’d be calling Fugaku lovely anytime soon.

“Mikoto is very nice,” he agreed, “I found Fugaku to be…”

“Stern?” Sakura offered, “Oh he is, but I think me and Naruto broke him down over the years. He actually smiles at us now! Though….”

“Though…?” Kisame prompted.

“Well, you know the Uchiha are a police force family,” Sakura said, “And Itachi gave that up to be an artists, well Sasuke was Fugaku’s last chance and well… we might have helped him run off to be lawyer. No smiles for us then.”

“Oh the horror,” Kisame chuckled.

“I think the only reason Fugaku didn’t murder all three of us was because at least it was a law career,” she grinned.

“Well I’m glad you’re alive,” Kisame said lightly.

“Thanks,” she grinned at him.

Her phone dinged and Kisame pulled his needle away enough to let her grab and look at it.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” she smiled, “Its Itachi.”

Kisame kept his mile frozen on his face as she laughed about something and tapped out a reply. She put the phone back down and turned to face him, still smiling and Kisame tried to dreg up the earlier enthusiasm as she started to ask after his art career. 

The peanut gallery all made sympathetic shakes of their head past him and he didn’t even have the energy to glare at them as he focused on Sakura.

.--.

“Do you like torturing yourself, dude?” Deidara asked as he carefully reapplied his mascara using Kisame’s mirror.

“Shut up,” Kisame sighed looking into the gallery windows. 

Looked like the rest of the Parlour was in there and he caught sight of bright pink hair beside Itachi. 

“March in there, declare your undying love for her, and then sweep her away from Itachi,” Deidara said idly, “The Icicle doesn’t deserve a girl like that.”

“Hey, Itachi’s not bad. He’s a good catch,” Kisame argued.

“I know he’s your best friend and all of that,” Deidara waved a hand, “But he straight up stole your girl.’

“She’s not my girl,” Kisame sighed.

“But you wish she was~,” Deidara sing-songed, “Okay, I’m good, let’s roll.”

Kisame sighed and heaved himself from his car as Deidara mirrored him. 

“Thanks for the ride btws,” Deidara said, “Sasori was being an asshole.”

“Are you guys dating?” Kisame asked.

“Why does everyone ask us that?!” Deidara huffed, “No we aren’t. I’m too pretty for a guy with art taste like his. You want to gossip, then what about Hidan and Kakuzu?”

“No way,” Kisame said flatly, “They hate each other.”

“Then Hate sex,” Deidara said, “But I’m sure I heard them making-out in the office the other day.”

Kisame gave Deidara a look trying to convey how utterly batshit that idea was but the blonde was already rolling into the gallery and yelling out greetings. 

Kisame really didn’t want to see the girl he liked hanging all over his best friend’s arm, but well, Itachi really was his best friend and it was his night. There was no way he couldn’t socialize without him without looking like a loser.

“Hey Itachi, nice job,” Kisame greeted with a smile.

“Thank you,” Itachi said politely.

He sounded rather bland but there was more of a glow to him, if you knew how to look, that he got every time he really was happy.

“Sakura, you look beautiful,” Kisame said, voice only slightly strangled behind his smile as he fully looked at her.

“Thank you Kisame! You look nice as well,” she beamed at Itachi’s side.

She was wearing a dark green knit dress that fell to her knees, a rising turtle-neck and three quarter sleeves. She was wearing some kind of tights under that that had a gold sheen to them and matched her gold heels and gold eye shadow. Her hair was pulled up in a knot and her ears decorated with small gold and emerald drops. The dress hugged her curves and showed her off perfectly. Even under the thick sweater material he could make out definition in her arms and resisted the urge to whimper as she reached for a glass of something and flexed. 

“I don’t usually wear dresses,” she admitted, “After the high-school skirts I got tired of not being able to kick my legs up. And then, well, I’ve never had the best body shape for dresses.”

“Don’t be foolish,” Itachi said immediately, “You’ve always looked good in them.”

Sakura offered him a smile a shade shyer than the usual and tittered out a laugh.

“I’ve seen her in a few dresses over the year, mostly at Christmas,” Itachi explained unneeded to Kisame, “One year she lost a bet with my brother and showed up to the Uchiha family dinner in a Mrs. Claus miniskirt.”

“Oh god,” Sakura covered her eyes, “I had almost blocked that embarrassment out. Thank you so much for bringing it up Itachi.”

Itachi gave Kisame a small sly smirk and Kisame returned it stiffly. 

“I thought my father was going to have a stroke,” he hummed, sipping his wine.

“And I thought Mikoto was going to start crying tears of joy thinking I was there to seduce you or your brother,” she slapped him playfully, “She certainly tried to make me prance around in that outfit.”

“My mother,” Itachi declared, “Has deemed Sakura the perfect wife for my brother or me, and has pulled out all stops in trying to get us together.”

“If she heard I was here with you I expect you’d be dragged ring shopping tomorrow,” Sakura said dryly.

Itachi laughed and Kisame felt something shrivel up and die inside of him.

“Kisame I need you for a moment,” Deidara burst into the conversation, “Come here!”

Kisame stuttered out a goodbye and let the blonde drag him off.

“God it’s sad watching you get murdered,” Deidara said patting his arm, “Come gossip with Konan and I as we try to figure out which of these people like Itachi’s art and which of them like his ass.”

“That was a train-wreck,” Konan said bluntly as they approached. 

“They’re practically engaged,” Kisame said before grabbing a nearby glass of wine and chugging it.

Deidara patted him sympathetically on the back as he eyed another drink but felt his car keys lying heavy in his pocket. 

“Doubt it,” Konan said but didn’t explain as she turned to watch new entertainment.

.--.

“Sasori’s here!” Deidara said suddenly as they were all eyeing the fancy-smancshy art snobs and making fun of their ties, “Sasori!”

“Deidara,” Sasori inclined his head as he bee-lined for them, “My flight was late.”

“Hmph you could have said that instead of telling me to piss off when I asked for a ride,” Deidara sniffed. 

Kisame rolled his eyes in sync with Konan, knowing very well how offended Deidara got over small stuff but also how pissy Sasori got when anything was behind schedule.

“How was the visit with your grandmother?” Konan asked trying to deflect the usual squabble between the two.

“Fine,” Sasori said shortly.

They rolled their eyes again but let it drop. You’d never hear Sasori say he missed ‘the old bat’ (his own words), but he visited her enough that all of them knew he adored her. 

“I heard there was drama here,” Sasori said turning a flat gaze to Kisame, “Itachi stole your girl?”

“She’s not my girl,” Kisame grumbled.

“Itachi straight up murdered him and doesn’t know it,” Deidara said at nearly the same time.

“Well, where is she?” Sasori asked as he leveled his eyes about eth room.

“Hey! You!”

They all spun to find Sakura grinning behind them, looking much like a cat-that-got-the-canary. It took precious few seconds to realize who she was talking to, and as one Deidara, Konan, and Kisame all turned to blink at Sasori. They were caught by surprise at the look of vitriol on the usually blank face.

“Haruno,” he hissed, an ugly vicious sound that had Deidara next to him rearing back.

“If it isn’t the Red Scorpion,” Sakura said in a rather teasing voice, “Back for a second round.”

“I will end you,” Sasori spat.

“I’m good to go out back if you are,” Sakura grinned widely.

“Can you even fight these days?” Sasori scoffed, “I heard you went off to be a doctor.”

He said this contemptuously as if ‘doctor’ was something he scraped off his shoe.

“And I heard you went off to do ‘art’,” Sakura mocked, “Maybe you’ve lost your touch, pretty boy. Want to put your fists where you mouth is?”

“Let’s go out back and see who’s lost their touch,” Sasori narrowed his eyes. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Deidara flapped his hands, “What’s going on? Are you guys arranging a death match in the parking lot?”

“Just some fun,” Sakura said at the same time Sasori said a decisive “Yes.”

“What the fuck?” Konan asked flatly.

“Ah, Sasori, welcome back,” Itachi interrupted them, offering Sasori a polite smile, “Sakura, can I steal you for a minute. My cousin Shisui just arrived and would love to see you again.”

“Shisui,” Sakura said delightedly, “Of course! Looks like you’re safe this time Sasori.”

Sakura took Itachi’s arm and they headed off to one of Itachi’s many dark haired cousins. 

“That bitch,” Sasori snarled tossing back his own drink and then stealing Deidara’s to do the same. 

“What the fuck?” Konan repeated. 

“You know Sakura?” Kisame asked.

“We fought in a few tournaments back in Suna,” Sasori glowered, “She won the last bought and has refused an official rematch, stating she’s focusing on her medical career.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Deidara said, “You mean your old mixed martial arts tournaments? She fought in those?”

“Yes,” Sasori hissed, “The women’s and men’s tournaments rarely overlapped but I got her in the ring a few times.”

“And she beat you?” Konan raised a slow brow as he eyes turned to follow Sakura.

“She’s got one more win than me but refuses a rematch to level the score,” Sasori snarled.

Kisame stared after Sakura and then let out a slow whimper.

“God, I didn’t think she could get more attractive,” he mumbled.

“She’s the one you had your eye on?” Sasori scoffed, “Forget it, she’s out of your league.”

“Don’t you hate her?” Deidara flailed.

“Yes but I know the value of a woman like her,” Sasori sneered, “She’s too smart, vicious, and good in bed for you.”

“Wait, what?” Deidara demanded.

Sasori simply tipped another glass of something back and stalked off.

“Did he just imply…” Deidara blanked.

“I think he did,” Konan said, “Excuse me, I have to go let Nagato in on the drama.”

Kisame was left staring after Sakura while Deidara flailed. God, Itachi was a lucky man.

.--.

“Kisame.”

Kisame turned to find Itachi waving him down.

“What’s up?” Kisame asked wishing he hadn’t drove so he could start chugging more drinks.

“I was hoping you would do me a favor,” he said frowning slightly, “A few interested parties would like to speak with me on a piece but Sakura needs to get home soon. Would you drive her? She lives quite near your area of the city.”

“I…” Kisame faltered in the face of Itachi’s earnest face, “Yeah, sure”

“Thank you,” Itachi sighed, “I’d already kept her here later than we had prepared and I know she works tomorrow.”

“No problem,” Kisame cleared his throat.

Kisame stood awkwardly feeling suddenly both elated that he was going to have some time alone with Sakura and uneasy because she was Itachi’s girl. 

“Hey Kisame,” Sakura smiled at him as she approached, a purse on her shoulder, “I don’t mind waiting for Itachi if you don’t want to head out yet.”

“No, no,” Kisame waved a hand quickly, “I was just, uh, heading out anyways.”

“Well thank you!’ She smiled.

He led her out of the gallery and to his car feeling suddenly too large and lumbering next to her graceful form. He held the passenger door open for her and she gave him another smile as she slid in. Kisame got into the driver’s seat and fumbled with the keys a moment as Sakura hummed and did up her seatbelt. 

She rattled off an address when he asked and he put it in his GPS. She did indeed live in the same sector of the city as him, only a few blocks away and Kisame wondered where the hell she’d been all his life; lived close to him, had been in the same house as him once, and both of them knew Itachi well. Kisame was a bit annoyed Itachi had never introduced them seeing as she was his girlfriend and Kisame was his best friend. Then again Itachi never talked about his feelings and if it had been Kisame he would have wanted to keep Sakura all to himself. 

“Thanks again for the ride,” Sakura said as Kisame started driving, “Itachi was pretty excited when that critic came up to talk about his work. I think they’re going to offer him a show in a larger gallery.”

“He deserves it,” Kisame said as amiably as he could, trying to focus on the road and not Sakura’s legs stretching out. 

She hummed agreement and leaned back in the seat, a flush faint on her cheeks. She’d drank a fair bit he remembered. There was a stretch of silence as they continued down the road, the glow of the city lights and his GPS darkening her pink hair and making her skin glow. He snuck glances as he drove and she seemed content to relax in his company. 

“So… You and Itachi huh?” Kisame asked because he couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie.

“Yeah we’re good friends,” Sakura said, “Or I hope so at least considering I’ve known him so long and I’m the one he’d call when he needed someone to keep an eye on Sasuke.”

“I mean dating,” Kisame said awkwardly, “You guys look…cute together.”

She turned to stare at him for a long moment, looking rather befuddled.

“What?” she finally asked, tilting her head.

“Just wanted to say you guys look good together,” Kisame said, dredging up a smile.

He glanced at his GPS as realized they were right in front of the destination.

“What?” she repeated, “You think I’m dating Itachi?”

“I assumed,” he cleared his throat.

There was a long moment of silence. Kisame pulled up against the sidewalk outside the apartment entrance and put the car in park.

“And what have we already agreed on about you and assumptions?” she asked.

“Um…that I shouldn’t make them?”

“Exactly,” Sakura nodded sagely, “Itachi would never date me because I don’t have a dick.”

There was another moment of silence as Kisame actually turned to stare at her. 

“Oh my god,” Sakura lifted a hand to her mouth horrified, “I didn’t mean to out him. You can’t tell anyone that. Ever.”

“Itachi is gay?” Kisame said aloud, “Huh. You know that makes a lot of sense.”

“I’m serious Kisame, you can’t tell anyone,” Sakura said, “I can’t believe I fucked that up. Sasuke will kill me for betraying Itachi like this.”

“I promise not to tell anyone,” Kisame said quickly at how absolutely devastated she looked.

“God. I forgot how loose lip’d I get when drunk,” Sakura mumbled, flushing, “I’m glad we’re here at least so I can’t spill anymore stupid.”

“It wasn’t stupid,” he refuted, “Well, I mean, maybe rude to out him, but not stupid.”

Sakura mumbled something and leaned down to pick her purse up from the foot well. She hesitated though instead of stumbling out of his car. She peered up at him and in the light from the building outside the car, her makeup glittered dark and bold. 

“Thank you for the ride home,” she said, “I had a really good time talking to you.”

“Me too,” Kisame said.

Still she didn’t duck out of his car.

“Would you like to come up for another drink?” Sakura finally asked, “Seeing as you didn’t really get much at the event.”

“I…” Kisame floundered like he’d been smacked with a fish, “Sorry, um, you’re pretty drunk and I don’t…”

Don’t want to take advantage, he thought even as his face tried to combust with a flush. God, if only she’d asked this when sober. Kisame looked at this beautiful woman in his passenger seat, dressed up and warm and welcoming and wanting him to come up to her apartment and….fuck. He shut those thoughts down hard. 

“Ah,” Sakura mumbled, “Sorry, I misunderstood some… well, never mind. Have a goodnight Kisame.”

He gripped his steeling wheel so hard it squeaked.

“Sakura,” he breathed.

“No, I’m sorry,” she flushed, opening the door and getting out, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just misread the situation. Thanks again and good luck with the business.”

She shut the door and Kisame could only watch as she scurried into the apartment building and vanished from his sight.

“Fuck,” Kisame said softly letting his forehead hit the steering wheel.

.--.

“I fucked up,” Kisame told Konan the next morning, head in his arms at the front desk.

“What did you do?” Konan asked, sipping her goddamn coffee and watching him like he was free entertainment, “Did you hit on Itachi’s girl while she was drunk in your car?”

“No. She hit one me and I turned her down and now she thinks I don’t like her,” Kisame whimpered.

“…wait, she hit on you?” Deidara asked popping up behind the partition like he could sense the drama, “Man, she didn’t seem like the cheating type.”

“Haruno is a bitch of the highest degree and one day I will crush her, but she’s the loyal type,” Sasori added flatly as he typed at his phone. 

“Well then maybe Kisame was just fucking daydreaming and imagined the whole thing,” Hidan piped up from where he was sketching something with lots of skulls out.

“Or maybe she was trying to invite you into a threesome with her and Itachi,” Zetsu added.

There was a moment of silence. Then someone smothered a chuckle and everyone tried to hide laughs and grins. 

“Why would Sakura be asking Kisame to have a threesome with me?”

Everyone stopped and turned slowly to look at Itachi carrying a tray of donuts and standing in the rear entrance. He blinked at them all rather curiously as they all stared at him.

“Kisame has the hots for your girl!” Deidara blurted out.

“And she hit on him in his car after they left last night,” Konan added.

“I think she means to dump you Itachi,” Sasori said calmly.

Itachi stood there for a long moment and Kisame resisted the urge to lay on eth floor and fucking die.

“But Sakura and I are not dating?” he said, tone questioning.

“You’re not?!” Deidara screeched, “But you have history and you act so casually with her! And you brought her as your date to the gala looking smoking hot!”

“Sakura is merely a friend,” Itachi frowned, “A very good friend who I entrusted to you knowing she’d drank a bit too much, Kisame. Was my trust mistaken?”

The last was aimed flatly at Kisame, Itachi’s gaze so frosty even Konan leaned subtly away. 

“I turned her down!” Kisame yelped, raising his hands in defence, “I told her she had drank too much when she tried to invite me up to her place!”

“…She invited you up to her bedroom for banging sex and you somehow made her think you didn’t even like her?” Deidara cracked, “Damn dude. There’s no recovering from that.”

“I know,” Kisame said slamming his head on the desk again. 

“…How long has this been going on?” Itachi asked, frown deepening.

“Kisame has had it bad for weeks and weeks,” Deidara blabbed.

“He’s been panting like a bitch in heat,” Hidan added with a cackle, “But getting no tail!”

“He’s been too chicken-shit to ask her out,” Konan even said, sipping her coffee.

Itachi frowned in thought and turned to look at Kisame who gave him a wounded look as if to say ‘see what I have to put up with’. 

“And now she thinks you don’t like her because you didn’t accept her drunk advances which proved she liked you as well?”

“Yeah,” Kisame said, making a noise like a wounded animal.

“You like her very much then?”

“Dude, have you looked at her?” Kisame waved a hand, “Smart, sexy, and fucking ripped. I’d throw myself at her feet if only to get stepped on by a woman like that.”

“Dude,” Deidara said.

“Don’t tell us your kinks,” Sasori added with a glare.

“No, no, do go on,” Zetsu said looking interested, “Does she seem like a woman who likes to step on men?”

Everyone pointedly ignored him and Itachi made a thoughtful noise as he pulled his phone free. The bell above the door dinged and Kisame was up and smiling his customer-service smile instantly.

“Welcome to Akatsuki Tattoos.”

Kisame started helping the first person through the door as Itachi dropped donuts in the back room. Kisame didn’t really notice when Itachi slipped away, but considering he was only part-time in the shop and didn’t have any appointments this morning, Kisame wasn’t really surprised he’d disappeared.

.--. 

"Let's go out."

Kisame paused and realized suddenly, everyone in the shop was quiet. Deidara was gaping past him and even Sasori was slowly raising a brow. Konan was nodding as if something she’d known to be true was revealed as Nagato blatantly ignored all of them. Hidan and Kakuzu were craning their necks from the office to watch like this was all a soap opera. Zetsu had even turned off the sink taps to better hear, hands covered in soap. 

Kisame turned very slowly in on his stool like there was a large predator behind him and if he moved to quick it would go for his throat. Sakura was standing there, hair pushed back and wearing an obvious gym outfit; a bright yellow tank-top that was sheer enough to see the sports bra and skin beneath, a pair of sinful black spandex shorts, and scuffed running shoes. 

"On a date,” she clarified, "I'll take you somewhere nice."

She sounded slightly out of breath as if she’d run here. Kisame stared openly at the muscle definition on her arms and barely registered the shocking words as he realized she really was built. God those biceps…

Kisame could see Itachi smirking from where he was bent over the front desk, doing his stupid single finger-typing 

"Okay," Kisame tried to say in a cool and collected manner as he tried not to swoon. 

Instead he was quite sure he was blushing. Judging by her grin she had noticed.

“Good,” she said, “I’ve liked you for a while now, but thought it might not be professional to ask you out as you held a needle to my skin. And I already told you I get stupid when I’m drunk.”

Kisame cleared his throat and simply looked at her and all her glory. She was absolutely stunning and he could see both his tattoos on display, the heart seen peeking out of her sports bra through the sheerness of her shirt, and the flowers vivid on her bare arm.

“I’m glad you asked,” he finally said, “Really glad.”

“Oh, good,” she grinned, “Does Wednesday work for you?”

“Wednesdays are good for me,” he said.

“I’ll see you then,” she said, giving him a warm smile.

She turned on her heel and strode out like she owned the place. Under the sheer tank-top Kisame got to see her back in full glory and he nearly choked as he found a huge tiger staring at him from where it roared as it bound up her entire back. She had told him long ago he wasn’t her first tattoo artist but damn…

“Fuck me,” he said, strangled.

“Oh, I’m sure she will,” Deidara said as everyone else tittered or groaned handing money over from bets Kisame hadn’t even been aware of.

Kisame threw a bottle ink at him.

.--.

The date was as amazing as Sakura. And she did indeed fuck him enthusiastically, all of her tattoos on display.

.--.


End file.
